Le whif (…le freak, c’est chic)

Love chocolate? Terrified of calories? Fear not: now Harvard scientists have come up with a chocolate whiffer that allows you to inhale the taste of chocolate to your heart’s delight, and never worry about the evil stuff passing your lips and ending on your hips.

It’s true:

Says inventor David Edwards: “Over the centuries we’ve been eating smaller and smaller quantities at shorter and shorter intervals.

“It seemed to us that eating was tending toward breathing, so, with a mix of culinary art and aerosol science, we’ve helped move eating habits to their logical conclusion.

“We call it whiffing.”

This is all very Heston Blumenthal-ish, and all very depressing. Almost as depressing as my inability to find a SINGLE candy-coated easter egg in the shops today and yesterday. Two weeks ago they were all over the place, and now there are none.

I just wanted one. I don’t want to whif it either. I want to lick the top until the candy-coating gets thin enough to bite a hole in the top, and then crunch my way through the rest of its sweet, processed delight. Is that too much to ask?