Cheese and tomato…crisps?

The toastie experience has gotten me thinking about how cheese and tomato is one of those u(be)r food combinations. I wonder where it comes from (surely it predates the Margarita pizza? Greek cheese – feta seems a likely contender for an early kind of cheese – seems to like cucumber better than tomato).

More interestingly: why is there no cheese and tomato flavoured crisp? We got the cheese and onion, the salt and vinegar, the straight tomato (oh, sweet childhood memories), but no cheese and tomato.

Instead, Heston Blumenthal is now getting himself involved in a bunch of new “gourmet” flavours in the UK: builder’s breakfast (think massive fry-up in a chip), fish and chips (as Charlie Brooker pointed out in the Guardian, a FISH crisp? Yuk), and (yawn) chilli and chocolate.

Speaking of chilli and chocolate, do yourself a favour and try this recipe for penne with chocolate and anchovy. I saw David Rocco making it on TV one day, and haven’t been able to get it out of my head since. I finally conjured it as part of a five-course extravaganza for my valentine this weekend, and it is good. Very good. Go on, you know you want to:

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(I borrowed this picture from Rocco’s website, but only because this is exacty what mine looked like. The only tweak I committed was using a lot less chocolate than he recommends, more like 75g for a 2 person tasting portion, and that was enough. It was wonderfully sweet and salty and chilli and starchy. I’d eat it in a chip.)

Enter the Toastie

I grew up, as most people in this part of the world, with my fair share of toasted sandwiches. I think we had a snackwich at some point, but the version I mostly had was my mother’s: brown government loaf, first toasted, and then dressed with thickly sliced tomato and onion, followed by a healthy topping of bright orange cheddar cheese, and maybe a sprinkling of paprika before it went under the grill to get melted to the point of almost burning (my mother taught me to love pretty much everything well done, which is why I continue to embarrass some of my rare-meat-eating friends by ordering my fillet steak well done. I also loved those toasted sandwiches: I remember them as a rainy day treat when I was in primary school, when my mother and I would drink hot chocolate, eat toasted “sandwiches” – they weren’t really, of course, because they were open-faced, Danish style – and browse cookbooks or Ikea catalogs together, dreaming about me growing up one day).

Maybe because of her, or more likely because of my very own set of prejudices around certain foods, I’ve never much been into toasted sandwiches that were a) closed, b) composed of white bread, or c) served as an accompaniment to a braai. (Who needs a toasted sandwich when you can just eat a load of meat??).

But there must be a statute of limitations on food snobbery. I live in South Africa, after all, and here the toastie is much respected in some circles. And so I was pleased when the Philosophe came home yesterday and announced that he was making them. And so the toastie entered our home (admission: I have been in their presence before, but in the past my snobbery prevailed and I turned my nose up).

Step 1:

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White bread buttered, adorned with (thinly!) sliced tomato, and expertly seasoned.

Step 2:

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Onions.

Step 3:

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Chutney. (Mrs. Ball’s, naturally).

Step 4:

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Cheese. Plenty of it (though the Philosophe admitted that by some standards he was being quite conservative with the cheese).

Step 5:

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Close and fire! (Notice how well-done is definitely an option here. My mother would like the blackened one).

Step 6:

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Step back, have a sip of wine, look at the mountain, and remember how lovely it is to live in Cape Town.

(Redux: I admit that I enjoyed my toastie muchly, though a half was as much as I could manage – my eyes were mostly for the sausage. But apparently it’s imperative to make too many so you can enjoy cold leftovers the next day. The Philosophe proved this by having one for breakfast. I believe he did his people proud).

That’s just rude

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Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, enter the corndog pizza (courtesy of the Telegraph, with the helpful title “This is why you’re fat”).

Christigne?

Driving home from my swim today, someone wanted to give me an ID cover for free. I told him I don’t want one – I don’t have an ID in this country, being the main point – but he said I should take it, because I look like Christina Aguilera:

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My boobs are nothing like these. Tsch!

Appe(ar)tisers

(Wait: why did Appletiser think of that for their new pear drink? Much cleverer than Peartiser. Oh well, two points for me.)

Many years ago I went camping with my sister and a friend, and we visited a farm that had a house with a kitchen that I quickly fell in love with and spent the next many years dreaming about owning one day (or a version of it). It had a big old wooden table, and a hearth, and strings of garlic hanging from the walls, and shelves full of homemade preserves (and my fantasies have since padded it with copper pots – of course – and bunches of dried herbs, and Elizabeth David sipping a glass of wine while stirring a Gauloise-blue Le Creuset pot on the Aga stove).

Needless to say, I have never come to own that kitchen (though we do have a wonderful new one of our own, with dark blue broody tiles that the cats love to sprawl on in the heat), but through a series of serendipities, I have now have a special – and very real – relationship with that very kitchen of my fantasies: it belongs to my brother-in-law’s in-laws. That makes it my kitchen in-law.

Not only do I therefore get to visit it every so often, but I also regularly get bags of goodies from the farm that has, I’m sure, supplied that very kitchen with many of the raw ingredients that were eventually made into those lovely preserves on the shelves.

So on Friday I got a huge bag of pears which have kept me occupied for the last two days. Yesterday I made pear chutney with chillies from our own balcony:

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(Yesterday was also, incidentally, the hottest day of summer, if not the hottest day in the history of the world. And there I was, stirring a hot pot of chutney. It was diabolical at times, but immensely satisfying in a way that only people who like doing stuff like this can ever comprehend. We’ll be testing it tonight with a little melt-in-the-mouth lamb shank).

Today, pears pickled in sugar, vinegar, white port, ginger, cinnamon, cloves:

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These need to rest for at least a week, but in a couple of months they’ll be perfect for the cheese board.

So I’m about half way through the pears, and not sure what to do next. I’ll probably add some to the rumtopf that I started after Christmas with plums (yup, from the same farm). I’ve never eaten rumtopf, but the idea of fruits that basically pickle in rum and sugar for a couple of months is pretty enticing. I imagine the virgin trip will involve some fresh homemade vanilla ice cream, topped with pieces of the fruit, and some hot rum syrup. Oh yes, winter will be sweet.

I imagine I’ll do some poached pears at some stage – perhaps poached in one of the bottles of cheap sweet sparkling wine that we’ve collected on our travels as “complimentary champagne” in hotel rooms. A warm, spiced pear should go nicely with the brandy-chocolate-crumb ice cream in the freezer – one of my more successful experiments. I suspect there’ll be a cake too, or some kind of pear crumble.

That should bring us down to one or two pears by the end of the week. Maybe we’ll just be reckless and eat them.

In other news, I’m proud to announce that Mogwai has become a Gordon Ramsay fan:

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Freaky cakes

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From Cake Wrecks, via the Telegraph.

Dispatches

From the food world:

The rise of the “breastaurant” (via Coldmud, via the Food Section)

From “life”:

Paris Hilton names Gordon Ramsay as the UK Prime Minister (via Coldmud)

From “politics”:

A good before-the-fact take on Elizabeth Alexander as Obama’s inaugural poet

Gobble gobble

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Turkey is a particularly cool word in bowling. When you get a turkey, that means three strikes in a row (I also once had a six-pack, but that’s neither here nor anywhere anymore). Turkey is also the bird you sometimes have left in your freezer after a late Christmas meal, so it was only obvious that late Christmas should meet recent holiday in Franschhoek for some mole poblano, otherwise known as the original chilli-chocolate sauce (on turkey, though the Wiki entry on mole doesn’t mention turkey, but what does wiki know?).

Stage one of the sauce resembles muesli, somewhat:

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But the aromas are far from breakfast: think pepper, and anise, and clove, and cinnamon (OK, breakfast), and chilli, and garlic, and nuts and raisins.

The best bit is adding the chocolate to the paste you’ve made out of the above, and tomatoes, and stock, and your indispensable Braun handheld kitchen whizzer:

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Once the chocolate has melted, it turns from dubious-looking pale brown sludge into a rich, brown (Nigella: gloriously glistening) mole, or molli, or sauce. Slather that on some turkey, or chicken (or whatever), stuff into a taco, and everything becomes pretty much alright. (A state that just a little attention makes surprisingly achievable).

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